"Future"...I have come to hate that word. HATE. PASSION. HATE WITH PASSION. I hate that word with a passion that surpasses the passion of the passionfruit frozen yogurt at Mesa Froyo (For those of you who don't know, Mesa Froyo is my most recent addiction. I literally went there 4 times last week.) Right now, you may be asking yourself, "Why? Why does she hate this one little word with such fervent passion?" It's a little surprising, right? I mean, I was all about the future last year. I think it was because it had a little more integrity then. The word fulfilled its purpose--it was reflective of its true definition. Back then, the future was...the FUTURE. Far away. Distant. A long time from now. But now...well, now...it has lost its integrity, and therefore it has lost my trust. Future and I...we are no longer friends. That's right--we're over. Through. No more. I have bid him farewell. Unfortunately, the time has past when goodbyes were an option. 'Cause now, I'm in the middle of it. The future is all up in my grill now.
That's right: The FUTURE is HERE. I didn't see it. I didn't know it was happening until it had already happened. Suddenly, all those things I talked about in association with the "future" are being thrown in my face.
College visits, scholarship applications, ACT retake(s), college applications, financial aid, housing...and the sudden realization that, in less than a year, I will be there. Oh yeah, and did I mention that I don't know where "there" is yet? I don't even have a definite list of colleges to apply to. All these things must be decided like...yesterday. These are kinda huge decisions, too. Decisions I am not prepared to make. Heck, I can't even decide what kind of sandwich to buy--let alone where to go to college. Anyway, needless to say, October of Senior year is not my favorite month. And Future and I...yeah, we're done.
Anyway, don't think I'm suicidal or anything, because senior year has been awesome. Really, it has. I've had some really amazing experiences, and I'm loving it. And this whole "future-planning" process has been...almost fun. It's kinda cool to see what my options are, and to imagine a million different future lives for myself. So, yeah--sorry about my bitter rant above...It's just been a little stressful.
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3 comments:
Hun I know exactly what you mean its freaky, but i also know that you are amazing and can do anything!!! I miss you tons!! LOVE YA!!!
hahahaha. Amen sister! We'll get through ut though, just think and know that While the future is fickle, eternity is for real!
HAHAHA all up in yo grill!!! love you...yea, its all terrifying-but you are on top of things it seems, and if your not...you are a good actress ;)
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